WHY I DON’T MAKE NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

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We all have that one friend or family member that goes into a new year with all sorts of resolutions. Whether that resolution is to lose weight, start working out more, or maybe it’s learning how to cook and eat out less. Whatever the resolution may be, let me ask you, did that person stick to it for the entire year? Or did it last just the month of January, maybe a little of February? If 2020 has taught us one thing, it is to not have expectations, as life as we know it can change within any given second.

A resolution by definition is the act of finding an answer to a conflict or problem, or a decision to do or not to do something. This is why I don’t make New Years Resolutions – because all of the answers we are looking for are already within us. By creating a New Years resolution, you are basically telling yourself that there is something that needs fixing or that you have been doing something wrong, and therefore now need to restrict whatever that one thing is. When we restrict anything, we are taking away something that is deemed “wrong.” And let’s be honest, who likes to be told that they are wrong? I know I sure don’t, and that’s why I’ve had to change my internal dialogue.

When we start to look for external factors to provide us with clarity or for a solution to a problem, we are creating a negative conversation with ourselves whether you can recognize it or not. No one likes to be told what to do or what not to do, yet we have normalized doing this to ourselves. We live in a culture thats been shaped around how we “should” be or “shouldn’t” be. The word should is another way of stating expectations. Restrictions and expectations are what leads to failure, and I don’t know about you, but I want to celebrate wins. No matter how big or how small.

I want you to ask yourself this: what would happen if you removed all of the expectations set out by society, by friends, by your family members, and most importantly by yourself? I can’t speak for everyone, but what I can tell you is this – the minute I stopped having expectations and removed the word “should,” I started to be able to actually hear my inner voice and live in alignment with my true self. By removing the expectations, we create room to get in touch with ourselves that ultimately allow us to follow our intuition for the direction.

I can’t promise you that the road will always be easy, but what I can promise you is this: you will never be misguided by following your inner voice. One of my biggest learning lessons this year was to stop blocking the power of my own intuition. Trust yourself…but like actually, trust your damn self, you are stronger and much more powerful than you probably give yourself credit for. You know those little butterfly feelings around certain topics that you feel from time to time? They are there for a reason, and a lot of the time, the reason stems from feelings of anxiety, or trauma that is surfacing. I challenge you in the new year to get in touch with those, figure out where they are coming from, what makes them present, and have a real internal conversation with yourself. Your intuition knows things before your mind wants to accept it. What’s the worst thing that can happen by finally living a life true to yourself? You learn a few hard lessons along the way? If you ask me, I think that is where the beauty in all of this is to be found.

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To be truly happy with oneself is definitely an inside job – no amount of money, no person, no place, no one thing can bring it, it’s our job to ourself. So let’s ditch the resolutions together, and instead find gratitude for the things we already have within. The answers you’re looking for are already here.

Cheers to YOU, and Happy New Year!